Let's play Cramer

[zyzzyva57]

It is Monday. Master Cramer has assembled his staff to find some pumps for the upcoming week. You are Doctor Nerdy, a chemist. Your job is to report on some element from the Periodic Table that has not been "discovered" on CramerLand. What element would you suggest for Master Cramer to explore and why? Remember, too, the element must be mainly located in some 2-bit country with a kleptocracy government of thugs and/or royality who love gaudy uniforms, palaces and a starving populace. Also, B.R.I.C. must need this element regardless the price for Widgets.

[aiki14]

Ok here goes,
We've all heard about the new Blue ray laser for HD DVD's right, well the next generation will be ultraviolet lasers (even shorter wavelength so greater storage capacity). To make these you need Nd:GdVO4 (neodymium doped Gadolinium Ortho Vanadate) diode crystals. The best place to get the Gadolinium... Kyrgyzstan!!! Total Thugcracy. Who's gonna mass produce this stuff? Baotou ( http://www.baotou.gov.cn/English ), the largest rare earth manufacturer in... CHINA. But wait there's more, Gadolinium is the best absorber of neutrons and is used as a "poison" in marine nuclear reactors (navy ships) to keep the reactors under control.
So if your looking for a rare element, thugcracy, BRIC, play with Nuke pin action, look no further than AUB (asia universal bank), THE investment bank for all your Kyrgyzstan investment needs. They are a principal fund source for Kyrgyzstan's two major industries, mining and yoghurt manufacturing.

What to do to become the "AsiaUniversalBank" Shareholder?

The AsiaUniversalBank common stock represents an attractive addition to any investment portfolio.

The "AsiaUniversalBank" shares were honored the highest "A" category after the Kyrgyz Stock Exchange listing procedures for conformity with the highest transparency requirements.

The Kyrgyz broker companies facilitate all the share deals. The data concerning the AsiaUniversalBank common stock including its fair value or the last deal price is available at the Kyrgyz Stock Exchange. There you can also access any data related to the broker companies. You will receive the deal written confirmation the same day you sign the Contract of Agency with the your broker company.

ÂIn 2004, The Ministry of Economic Development, Industry and Trade as well as the Kyrgyz Stock Exchange recognized AsiaUniversalBank as Bank of the Year

Kyrgyzstan Stock exchange:
Kyrgyz Stock Exchange
172 Moskovskaya, Bishkek, Kyrgyz Republic, 720010
+ 996 (312) 61 05 89
www.kse.kg

[zyzzyva57]

My friend, you may find thestreet.com contacting you! :) I really like the thugocracy aspect...The obscure element is a big, big plus, because this should be able to be worked into the rationalization to drive up energy prices...Love the BaoTou aspect: whothahell has ever heard of the place--booyahhh-h! Ohmygawd, to buy this jewel stock you have to do so on a foreign stock exchange, so this should really screw the real raw Newbies to "Mad Money"!

WAIT!! Are you sure you are not already on the "Mad Money" staff? Your pick is just too damn good! :)

[aiki14]

So today I got a come on from Asia Universal Bank, and I couldn't remember where I had heard of it before. So here come a bump from 22 months ago.

[Gzapper]

i would tell cramer to invest in muzzles and use this practice on his tv shows

[zyzzyva57]

Our Master, alas, has backed off pimping the world as he was doing that year of his program

You brought back happy memories of our boy when he was sending newbies to obscure places and obscure stock exchanges to buy obscure elements

Remember when he got off on his first segment of the show and did a feature on damn noddles by some obscure company located gawd knows where?

This was a classic Ad Separator, because he never mention noddles again

I would love him doing a show just on his ad separators

Were you around that first year when he loved Capstone ("cpst"), treating it like the next Google even as the stock went down, down, and more down

I did learn first hand what a Falling Knife was :)

But, I do enjoy Cramer--Maybe the show ought to be called "Mad Addiction"

.

[Jelly]

It is Monday. Master Cramer has assembled his staff to find some pumps for the upcoming week. You are Doctor Nerdy, a chemist. Your job is to report on some element from the Periodic Table that has not been "discovered" on CramerLand. What element would you suggest for Master Cramer to explore and why? Remember, too, the element must be mainly located in some 2-bit country with a kleptocracy government of thugs and/or royality who love gaudy uniforms, palaces and a starving populace. Also, B.R.I.C. must need this element regardless the price for Widgets.

The steamiest element to come out of Myanustan, having been discovered while engaging in the new sport of bingedrunking while eating corn laced chili is LBS (Liquid Bull Shunt).

It has secretly been imported and distributed to the power brokers of the world, as a substitute for sex. Better than LSD or coke, it makes you high and gives you an orgasm in less than a minute, then dissipates from your system quickly.

The only downside is it makes you stupid (kinda normal) and has the added cost of needing Depends all day long.

The fundies for the stock are so bad, it has been rated a screaming "en fuego"/"back up the truck".

[Hondaboy]

We've all heard about the new Blue ray laser for HD DVD's right

:confused2:

[XOM]

Ha, never saw that post by Aiki before now, that was awesome.

[madcowdisease]

Cramer is too focused on the large cap, even mega cap, part of the investment field. I'd like to think he is shying away from risk due to the market environment but I wonder if he hasn't forgotten that the best plays are those that aren't as well covered by analysts. The off-track stuff where the individual can get an edge. I really like the small and mid-cap sector now that interest rates are so low. These companies thend to be more sensitive to this environment and are the first to turn around.

I can't seem to make a decent return on the mega caps Cramer and his Lightning Round proselytes refer to every evening.

[aiki14]

:confused2:

Actually, both of the formats used shorter wavelength Blue lasers to allow for more densely packed information on the disc, like writing with a sharper pencil. Ultraviolet lasers would increase the info on a disc by nearly an order of magnitude. Unfortunately they require considerably higher power to generate the light, and if you were exposed to the light it could be injurious, especially to the eyes.