zyzzyva57
03-26-2006, 07:20 AM
Beginner Newbie: you stumble upon Cramer, and, and go wild! Holly _____, you thankz, professional wrestling plus ez money! (Kinda like the furst time you come to on-line dating, and thank, holly _____!)
Intermediate Newbie: Gotz to have a taste! Can't wait to get that thar furst account with Scottrade--only $7 a trade--ain't that broker being Wal-Mart nice to me?! You scurry off to buy your furst "noodle" stock 'cause Cramer, all decked out in some professional wrestler's weird attire, and yells it up there's coming a noodle shortage in ___________ and, and it's eh headin' our way! Man, you cannot wait till the next day for your local Scottrade office to open. Youze watch with pleasure the stock go up and dream of them thar dates you can find on-line...gawd is good....
Advance Newbie: this is the "hmmmm" stage. This is when you find out Scottrade's $7 trade really is $14, 'cause you got to trade to get out of a stock. It dawns on youze that the reason the stock goes up the next day is 'cause all the other Intermediate Newbies have piled in, and it has nothing to do with the world-wide hunger for damn noodles.
Hmmm, you find the quickest way for a stock to go up is sell the stock. Hmmm, but if you stay, the stock goes down. Weird! Whether folks around the wurld like noodles depends upon little ol' me, hmmm. That is just plain weird. If this isn't bad enough, all your on-line dating is going nowhere. You are winking and blinking to a void with a nice face.
Beginning Intermediate: (Where I am) This comes after about a year of Cramer Watching. You ask yourself not what Cramer likes, but what would Gordon Greeco tell me if I could talk to him. You begin creating your own mini Gordon Greeco. You know you cannot be cynical enough fast enough. You start watching to make sure Cramer does not get you into a pissing war with the Gordon Greecos. You want to learn how to piss with em, not against them, 'cause even a gnat annoys them, and you do-not-want to be gnat--can't afford it. You learn to note what Cramer does NOT say on noodles is as important as what he does say.
Intermediate Newbie: Gotz to have a taste! Can't wait to get that thar furst account with Scottrade--only $7 a trade--ain't that broker being Wal-Mart nice to me?! You scurry off to buy your furst "noodle" stock 'cause Cramer, all decked out in some professional wrestler's weird attire, and yells it up there's coming a noodle shortage in ___________ and, and it's eh headin' our way! Man, you cannot wait till the next day for your local Scottrade office to open. Youze watch with pleasure the stock go up and dream of them thar dates you can find on-line...gawd is good....
Advance Newbie: this is the "hmmmm" stage. This is when you find out Scottrade's $7 trade really is $14, 'cause you got to trade to get out of a stock. It dawns on youze that the reason the stock goes up the next day is 'cause all the other Intermediate Newbies have piled in, and it has nothing to do with the world-wide hunger for damn noodles.
Hmmm, you find the quickest way for a stock to go up is sell the stock. Hmmm, but if you stay, the stock goes down. Weird! Whether folks around the wurld like noodles depends upon little ol' me, hmmm. That is just plain weird. If this isn't bad enough, all your on-line dating is going nowhere. You are winking and blinking to a void with a nice face.
Beginning Intermediate: (Where I am) This comes after about a year of Cramer Watching. You ask yourself not what Cramer likes, but what would Gordon Greeco tell me if I could talk to him. You begin creating your own mini Gordon Greeco. You know you cannot be cynical enough fast enough. You start watching to make sure Cramer does not get you into a pissing war with the Gordon Greecos. You want to learn how to piss with em, not against them, 'cause even a gnat annoys them, and you do-not-want to be gnat--can't afford it. You learn to note what Cramer does NOT say on noodles is as important as what he does say.